Hi,
I can use all the help I can get to lose this weight. I was doing WW at work, around the time my Ma got sick March. Needless to say I was so upset and worried when we found out she had advanced Lung Cancer on March 13th than the diet went out the window. She passed away on March 25th. I am 27 and my Ma was 55. She was my best friend in this world, my protector, my motivator and my everything. I was lucky she was such a great Ma. When she passed I weighed 142lbs. I would say almost instantly after she died, I regained my appitite which had been none when I was worried about her the 2 weeks till she passed. I tryed getting back to WW and joined a group again a few months ago. I still wasnt really ready and ended up going to 3 meetings and quiting. I hate to say it, but everything seems less significant with out my Ma. Now at my highest weight ever 162lbs, I really need help getting past the weight. I am 5'3". I know Ma would want me to lose it, but the difficult part will still be pushing pass that less significant point. I have a wonderful husband and a great Dad alive still, but feel lost without Ma. Has anyone had a similar incident and got past it? How? What tips/advise do you have? THanks! Do you think Oxycise can help much? What are your normal loses per week? Do you diet with O or just O? I just ordered the DVD but do have an old set of VHS I am going to start tomorrow.

Tama,
I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. I was 17 when my mother died and she truly had been my best friend (my dad had died quite a few years earlier). It's never easy to lose those we love, but I pray that you will soon adjust and move forward in your life.

I really think Oxycise is a key to losing weight. The combination that worked best for me was to write down everything I ate in conjunction with doing O! 6 days a week. Writing things down would work well with WW and I know many folks on here have had great success combining O! with WW. Once I started doing this (I tried to keep my calories at 1400 a day at least 5 days a week) I managed to average about a pound a week.

I also recommend posting often. The friendship and accountability really help!

Hi,
Thanks for your reply. I am sorry about your parents.

I love your idea of writing what I eat down. Now you wrote down on 5 days and not the other two? Or were just less strict 2 days a week? That is a way I could live.

Oh how often do you guys O for great results?

I still write down what I eat every day. I'm just not as strict about trying to stay within a certain calorie count. If I eat something I can't count, I just put a question mark instead of the number of calories. Then...when I tally up the calories for the day, I just put a + after my total indicating I went over the amount listed.

For example...I might have eaten 1000 calories during the day then attended a reception for dinner where I couldn't really calculate my calories. I would just list "reception (?)" then put 1000+ total for the day.

Hi Tama.

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, too. I also lost my mother several years ago. I was 23 and she was 51, and she died of liver cancer. I don't really feel that I have any advice for you, but just understanding. You didn't have long to prepare for the loss of your mother, and that's very hard.

I also write down everything I eat, and try to stay within 1300 to 1500 calories per day. I do one workout per day, 5 or 6 days per week, and steadily lost until I quit being consistent. This summer I changed my eating habits completely, and went to a yeast, sugar, and white flour-free diet, trying to better my health. It has done wonders for me, and I still expect more results as I continue. I lost 14 pounds real soon after doing this, and am currently within my weight range for my height, even though I would like to lose about 10 more pounds.

You can do this! Be sure you have a calendar and some cute or pretty stickers, so you can give yourself a sticker for every workout. If you also write down what you eat, you will be much more conscious of what you're putting in your mouth, and that helps so much. Then, post here with us really often, because we all need each other!

Good luck!

Susanna

Tama,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Ma and I know it is truly hard to believe but time does heal all wounds. We just as people want time to be NOW OF COURSE.

You just have to remember would your Ma want you to be stuffing your face full of food in her memory. I don't think so, so in memory of her and all your fun together walk everyday and think of all the fun times and memories of her and walk off the weight.

I am on WW and Oxy both and I will help you with your WW if you like. My sister and I do WW, I am motivating her. My sister used to always weight my weight of about 130-140. After a severe breakup with a few beaus she let herself go and climbed to her highest of 250 this past year. The last thing my father said to me on his death bed was please help your sister lose the weight! I still to this day, 14 years later am trying to get her to do it. So far she has lost 35 pounds and I truly hope she sticks to it this time around. She did it before, lost 50 and then gained it all back but my goal is to keep her motivated enough to get it all off. I can help mentor you too if you like. It is always easier if we do it with friends. Why don't you start going back to your WW meetings.

I do enjoy Oxy as my exercise because it is easy and I am very very busy and if I can at least get that done I at least feel I have done something. Any help I can give you please just give me a holler. I too write all my food down but I put my point values with it.

Good luck my friend. Come join us, you can do this Tama. Your mother would want you to do this and be happy.

Lin

Tama, Welcome! I am one member who can attest that the support from the chatroom is worth everything! You are not alone! I've not been wholly dedicated and still lost 6 lbs since I started in May, but in the beginning I felt so desperate, but the ppl here are very supportive! Please try it!!
Polly

Polly: Way to go on the 6 lbs!

Lin: I would love to have you as a mentor, sounds like you have your stuff together. Thanks for what you said about my Ma, you were so right on. She would be pis#ed if she knew I was gaining weight and not caring about me anymore. Feel free to email me at tamace27@aol.com. Helping your sister is wonderful your Dad would be proud of you!!!!!!!

Susanne: Sorry about your Ma. I know that must have been tough. How did you get the pain and guilt to go away? I was a good daughter basically, but my Ma was the Best Ma you could ask for, she did everything for me. I was her life and she was mine. I wonder if I made the right choices for her. Ventilator/no ventilator and no pain meds? Long story short she was in the hospital 1 week for all the tests, they sent her home Sat at 2pm. Sunday evening she started vomiting I kept cleaning but she was so very weak. The meds all said side effect of Vomiting. Finally Monday am Dad called the Hospital and had an Ambulence come. I went up that morning and they said she would die that day. They thought she had strokes. I kind of cried and said Oh Ma, she said "Don't you cry, your tough and I am proud of you, and if I die oh well, I had a good life". Later that day they moved her to Progressive care and told us she had to rest so they could begin Chemo sooner. We left around 3pm. At 6pm the Doc called me and Told me Ma wanted me to come up and help her decide on a ventilator, he said her breathing went bad fast. I rushed up with Dad. I asked her to decide, she asked if she would be a vegetable I told her maybe. She said well, lets do it. The doc tryed to talk us out of it. But she was in very grave pain because of the cancer being in the lung, liver and pancrease. He told us we should let her die of the Pancreatitis due to cancer in the pancrease. He said it would take less than 2 days, but she could have no pain meds because her breathing was too shallow. Or we put her on the Ventilator in a sedated state. We chose to go with the Ventilator too. She lived a week, but they said she was past Chemo and to take the Ventilator off on Friday. So we agreed, she passed Saturday Am. I feel guilty about almost everything even her being sick. Weird ey? Oh well, I guess it is done so move on right? How did you overcome all that? I find it eases slightly with time is that the answer?

Kelly: Thank you very much, I will try your idea of writing everything down.

Well, My order was shipped so I should begin soon! I cant wait to get it.

Tama,

If I understand you correctly, having the ventilator meant having pain meds, which would have made the last days more comfortable. I would have chosen that. I think you handled everything just fine, dear. Now you need to let it go. If negative thoughts come into your mind, just remind yourself that you did what you felt was best at the time. That's all that anyone can do. Let go of the guilt, because it will destroy you. Your mother wouldn't want that to happen! I've often read of people feeling guilty when someone they loved or even just knew died, because that person died and they lived. That's normal, okay? You don't need to feel guilty about it though! I would treasure those words that she spoke to you, and just strive to be someone she would be proud of.

Yes, time is a great healer. I still miss my mom, because there's just no one else on Earth who cares about you in quite the same way that Mom does.

How do I overcome things? I pray a lot! That's the best advice I can give you.

I'm glad your order is on it's way. Please keep in touch!

Susanna

Susanne, I know your right, I am finally starting to let the guilt go. Yes you were right, the pain meds were a better choice. I just had a small back slide, but am back on track.

Well, I start O today!!!!!!!!!!!

Tama,

So glad you are here. Sorry to hear about your mom though.
About 15 years ago I lost my mom due to lung cancer. She was a smoker. Sad to say though, I was never close to her, but it still hurt to know she was gone. I envy the closness you had with yours I really do. Treasure that always.

Until next time...
Susie